Leeds Church Group

This is a mime based around scriptures relating to Christ’s ministry. The purpose of the mime is to show
that Christ does not necessarily remove our burdens but rather supports us through our difficult times.

Characters: Christ
Person in need of ministry
Narrator – does all the reading (also needs someone to do the weights)
Props: Six pieces of card in the shape of weights, each one has one of the following words on
LONELY – UNLOVED – WORRIED – HURT – LOST – SAD

(Christ stands facing congregation with arms outstretched)

Narrator:
He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor, he has sent me to heal the broken hearted, to
proclaim release for the captive, and the recovery of sight to the blind; to set at liberty those who are
bruised.
(person walks by Christ ignoring him ….then as the narrator reads the following, the props assistant starts
to hang weights on person who slowly sinks down under the weight.)

I have come to….
….the lonely….. (hangs LONELY weight)
….the unloved…. (hangs UNLOVED weight)
….the worried…. etc.
….the hurt…
….the lost….
….the sad….

Narrator: For GOD so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.

(Christ goes over and stands behind person burdened down)

Narrator: Come unto me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn
of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart and you will find rest in your souls; for my yoke is easy and my
burden is light.

(Christ slowly starts to help person up, supporting their arms while still carrying the weights as the
narrator reads)
….learn of me….
….learn of me….
….and I will give you rest….
….give you rest….
….find rest….
….my burden is light…
….is light….
….is light…
(person fully raised up and supported by Christ standing behind, both with arms outstretched in the shape
of the cross)

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you and that your joy might be full.
That your joy might be full.

© Graham Wilson 2021 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is about Joshua and the walls of Jericho. It could be used if your theme is about trusting in God. It just has one character. It takes place on his arrival at Jericho. You could have him praying to God or you could have him on a mobile phone to God.
There are silences indicated by …. when he is listening to God’s answers.

Joshua:
Hello God, Joshua here. How’s heavenly glory these days….
Anyway, I thought I’d let you know we’ve made it to Jericho….
I know we’ve only just arrived and I don’t like to complain, but we have a small problem…….
Oh you’ve noticed it too, it’s big isn’t it……
Really! no I didn’t know they have a bigger one in China……
What I just wanted to say was er HELP!…….
No Problem????……..
We do what every day???….
I thought that’s what you said! What all the way round?….
You think the exercise will do us good…
And then seven times on the seventh day – good job we’re not invading China! Anything else?…….
Blow the trumpets. I’m glad you mentioned that, I wouldn’t have thought of that!
Obvious really…..
And then it all falls down – Great!…..
Now seriously what are we going to do!…..
Oh!……..
Can I have this in writing…….
Tell you what, how about a few bricks falling off each day, just as a sign of good faith……
Of course I trust you Lord!….
No I didn’t say that with my fingers crossed…..
You’re sure there’s nowhere else with a smaller wall, I hate to put you to all this trouble……
Oh! its no trouble to YOU….
Well there’s only one thing I’ve got to say to you….
When do we start the band practice!

© Graham Wilson 2021 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This is a sketch is based on the hymn, ‘Let Your Heart Be Broken’. It looks at what we hope to get
out of worship.
Sing the first verse. At the end of the first verse, the congregation is interrupted.

1: Hold it, hold it ….just wait a minute.
2: I beg your pardon, can’t you see we’re trying to praise God.
1: Yes but do you mean it?
2: Pardon?
1: Do you mean the words you are singing?
2: Look we’re trying to have a good old sing, stop asking awkward questions.
1: Awkward questions??
2: Of course, if you’re really praising God and having a good old sing, you don’t have time to think about the words? Following those little black dots up and down isn’t easy you know.
1: But don’t you think you should think about the words if you are to truly worship.
2: You’re joking, have you read some of them.
1: Well as a matter of fact yes, as I don’t understand those little black dots, looking at the words gives me something to do.
2: Well take the line, ‘be the hands of Jesus serving in his stead’. If you started to think about what that would really involve, it would be enough to curdle your communion wine.
1: So do the words make you feel uncomfortable? Don’t you think worship should sometimes make you feel uncomfortable?
2: I’ve enough with the chairs making me uncomfortable without the hymns joining in as well.
1: What about ‘challenged by the need apparent everywhere’. Shouldn’t worship challenge you as well?
2: Oh it certainly does.
1: Good we’re getting somewhere now. How does it challenge you?
2: For a start, some worships are a challenge to stay awake.
1: That’s no quite what I meant. Shall we try another line, what about ‘make him master too’, that must be an important part of worship.
2:That’s fine. I don’t mind him being ‘master two’ as long as I’m still master number ONE. Life would get just too complicated if I had to start giving God priority.
1: One last try – How about ‘add to your believing deeds that prove it true’. You know worship should prompt you to do something as a result of your experience.
2: Add to your believing, sorry maths is not my strong point. Look, will you stop troubling me with ideas like commitment, responding and serving, I’ve just come here to worship.

© Graham Wilson 2021 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

Two characters, Moses (M) and a telephone operator on the emergency services (O).
This sketch shows that what God was asking Moses to do would seem crazy to most people, yet Moses trusted God and had the faith to do it.

O: Hello 999 emergency, which service do you require?
M: I want to report a fire.
O: If you can just remain calm and give me the details, first what is your name?
M: Moses
O: Right Mr Moses, and where is the house that is on fire?
M: Its not a house that’s on fire, it’s a bush fire.
O: So can you tell me how large an area of bushland is on fire.
M: No, its just one bush on fire.
O: Mmm, just one bush, is it a large bush?
M: No, its quite small actually.
O; So you have this tiny bush that’s on fire, have you thought of just waiting until it burnt out?
M: That’s the trouble, its not going out.
O: Very strange, have you tried putting it out?
M: I was going to, but it told me not to.
O: Who told you not to?
M: The bush told me not to put it out. It also told me I was on holy ground.
O: So we have a talking bush that stubbornly refuses to go out and then tells you to beware of potholes?
M: No, not holy as in pot holes, holy as in sacred.
O: So this bush not only talks to you, it a religious nutcase as well. And you expect me to take this call seriously.
M: Well you would take it seriously if you saw how it turned my staff into a snake.
O: Ah, this is making more sense, you’re actually delirious from a snake bite and what you really want an ambulance, not a fire engine.
M: No actually thinking about it, it’s the police I want, could you ask them to let my wife know I’m going to be late home, I just have to go to Egypt for a while.
O: Don’t tell me, let me guess, the bush told you to take the pretty route home via Egypt.
M: Not quite, it did tell me to go to Egypt, but to go and ask the Pharaoh to free some Jewish slaves.
O: Ah so you don’t want the police, you want the army, so that they can help you free some prisoners. Or how about the navy as well to get you across the Red Sea.
M: No I asked about the Red Sea and that’s all taken care of. The bush said all I need to take is my brother.
O: And has he’s got a big S stamped on his chest?
M: I don’t think you’re taking this call seriously. If you can just let my wife know what’s happening.
O: Don’t worry Mr Moses, we’ll get this sorted out for you.
M: Thanks, bye.
O: (calling police patrol unit on radio) Hello police unit 162, we have a delirious pyromaniac that needs picking up. He’s heading for the Egyptian border, claims he’s going to ask Pharaoh to free lot of Jewish slaves. … Yes I know that would take a miracle, in fact I doubt he could do it with ten miracles.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website. 

Conditions of Use

This sketch is an adaptation of the Good Samaritan. There are only two speaking parts, the Levite (L) and the Priest (P). The sketch can be performed with just these two characters or with the other characters also acting out the story.

L:  Hello Mr Priest.
P:  Hello Mr Levite.
L:  Its a lovely day for a walk from Jerusalem to Jericho.
P:  Yes the birds are singing.
L:  The sun is shining.
P:  The flowers blooming.
L:  The robbers attacking a traveller.
P:  Oh!
L:  Somebody should do something about this violence.
P:  Yes, I really feel sorry for him and his pain.
L.  I really care about his situation.
P:  He will be upmost in my thoughts tonight.
L:  I feel my soul is full of empathy.
P:  Let’s pray that he will get help soon.
L:  Er…
P:  Yes?
L:  You don’t think WE should help him?
P:  Oh no!….people don’t like you interfering in their business.
L:  That’s true!
P:  And besides, its against my religion.
L:  Why?
P:  I’m a devout coward.
L:  You’re sure we shouldn’t do something?
P:  But we would be late for church and you’re preaching.
L:  True…what about tomorrow then?
P:  Monday is night school….Tuesday baby sitting – the wife is at a Women’s meetings…Wednesday is prayer service, how about on Thursday
L:  Hold on…I’ll ask him if we can help him on Thursday.
P:  Well?
L:  He says they stole his diary.
P:  Typical! You try and help someone and they don’t want it.
L:  There must be something we can do.
P:  Of course!
L:  What?
P:  We’ll tell him we will pray for him at church tonight.
L:  It really makes you feel good to meet another’s need.
P:  Hello….what’s this?
L:  Some Samaritan is helping that man.
P:  Typical!
L:  What is?
P:  These non-believers trying to show us up! 

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is about how God is always there for us, but do we take this for granted and only pray when we have problems? It has God and Jesus chatting in heaven.

G:      Good morning Jesus my son.
J:       Good morning Father, I must say you are looking very omnipotent this morning.
G:      That may be the case, but its hard work being omnipotent. People expect you to be there all the time, day and night, to sort out all their problems. Sometimes I feel as though I could do with a holiday.
J:       But isn’t that part of your job description, to be there 24 x 7.
G:      Yes, but I thought perhaps just for once I could get a locum for a couple of weeks.
J:       And where are you going to get a locum? You’re the one and only true God remember. And even if you could get a locum, don’t you think people would notice the lower quality service.
G:      Well what about the other idea I’ve had. I’ll open a prayer call centre and employ angels to take the calls. And if there were too many prayers for them to cope with, there would be a recorded message – ‘your prayers are held in a queue and will be answered when one of our angelic operatives becomes available’.
J:       But you’ve always answered prayers personally, and as you’re supposed to be unchanging, isn’t that what you ought to keep doing?
G:      Yes, you’re right, but I do feel as though I’m taken for granted sometimes. They just want me when they have a problem and forget about me the rest of the time. What about if I went on strike for a few days, I thought that might make them appreciate me more.
J:       But isn’t there a no strike clause in your job contract.
G:      Well yes there is, but that was an EU directive, I’ve had a referendum and I’ve voted to leave the EU.
J:       But there must be a better way of reminding them that it’s all about a close daily relationship with you and not just about you fixing their problems. Couldn’t you get someone to remind them? Just hold on while I make a quick telephone call.
(Makes call on mobile).
There. It’s all fixed up, there’s someone called xxxxx (name of someone who is due to speak in the service) who’s agreed to remind them today about your love and how you want a closer relationship with them.
G:      Great, how many thousands of people are they telling?
J:       Err, no, only about a twenty (or how many are at the service).
G       Twenty thousand, that’s not too bad.
J:       Err no, just approximately twenty people.
G:      Is that all they can get to turn up? Isn’t he/she very popular then?
J:       But he/she says everybody there will go out and share that message, that’s how you have always done it.
G:      You’re right, I have to trust them to pass on my message about how I want a closer relationship with everybody, but do you think I need a plan B?
J:       Well I have suggested it before.
G:      You mean ..
J:       Yes, it may have to be Facebook.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

A sketch for Christmas with Peter (P) and Jesus (J).

J: Peter
P: Yes Jesus?
J: Did I hear you giggling just then?
P: No Jesus, perhaps I had hiccups.
J: And what’s that behind your back?
P: My hands Jesus.
J: Peter, I can work that out, I had noticed your arms ended with hands. I meant what is in your hands behind your back.
P: Oh that, how did that get there? it looks like a photograph album.
J: Not just a photograph album, but my mother’s photograph album with me as a baby.
P: Oh yes.
J: And you were giggling at my photographs.
P: Well you have to admit you do look funny.
J: Not as funny as you look in this photograph. (brings out photo)
P: Where did you get that?
J: From your mother. She said if you ever get out of hand, bring this out and it will shut you up. Anyway, what’s all this interest in my birth?
P: Well it’s nearly your birthday, and everybody is talking about what happened at your birth.
J: Do you mean what really happened, or the idyllic version with jolly shepherds, cuddly lambs and a cosy manger.
P: You mean it wasn’t really like that.
J: Have you ever tried sleeping in a draughty shed with a sheep bleating in your ear? And don’t tell the wise men my mother tried using myrrh to cure my nappy rash.
P: But they enjoy remembering you like that.
J: I know, they don’t feel threatened by a little baby meek and mild, but they do feel threatened by a grown man asking difficult questions about their values and commitment.
P: Do you feel threatened by my difficult questions.
J: No Peter, I love you for your difficult questions. I need people who don’t keep me in a cosy manger, but really take me into their lives so that we can work on the difficult questions together. That’s what my life has been all about. Are you going to leave me in this manger.
P: No Jesus, I can’t sleep with bleating sheep either.
J: Thank you Peter, because I can’t work with you if you keep me out. And just for the record, I wasn’t meek and mild, I was a pain in the neck. 
P: I can believe that Jesus.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is about the miracle of feeding the five thousand. However it does try to make the point that just as Jesus worked a miracle in the life of one boy, so he can still work a miracle with each one of us. The sketch requires only two people.

1:  Long ago
2:  2000 years B.F.
1:  B. F?
2:  Before Facebook.
1:  They just had sermons.
2:  Sermons?
1:  Yes, sermons on mounts,
2:  And parables,
1:  Parables on lost sheep.
2:  Very uncomfortable!
1:  There were talks for tax gatherers
2:  And chats for children.
1:  Who did?
2:  He did!
1:  Who did he did?
2:  A carpenter.
1:  A what?
2:  From Nazareth.
1:  Where?
2:  And once he had 5000.
1:  Sheep?
2:  No! people come to listen.
1:  It was a great sermon.
2:  Marvellous parables.
1:  Wonderful spirit.
2:  No food.
1:  Pardon?
2:  Sorry, forgot about the caterers!
1:  You mean no chip butties!
2:  Not one.
1:  No MacDonald’s!
2:  Sorry.
1:  Not even a cup of tea!
2:  Fraid not!
1:  UGH! (holds stomach)
2:  Perhaps we could ask them to share.
1:  Share what?
2:  Any packed lunches they’ve brought.
1:  You mean,
2:  Appeal to their better nature,
1:  Awaken their sense of charity,
2:  Ask if they are willing to share,
1:  And be trampled in the stampede.
2:  ….(looks for stampede)
1:  ….(looks for stampede)
2:  He’s a bit small for a stampede!
1:  Five lumpy loaves,
2:  And two clapped out kippers.
1:  If we feed that lot,
2:  With this lot,
1:  It’ll be a miracle!
2:  That’s a good idea says Jesus.
1:  So he miracled,
2:  And miracled,
1:  And,
2:  Yum! Yum!
1:  I’m full!
2:  My compliments to the chef.
1:  How about a tip?
2:  Our tip is,
1:  Don’t think your gifts are too small,
2:  And no use to Jesus.
1:  Bring your gifts to him,
2:  And see how he’ll use them,
1:  In fact to sum up,
2:  They’ll multiply! 

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

A sketch with two people. One is a Christian (C) going to communion, the other is a Health and Safety Inspector (I) who has come to inspect the communion service. The health and safety inspector decides communion is very dangerous. So is communion dangerous, is there a danger that it may change our lives?

C: Well I’m just off to communion.
I: I’m afraid you can’t go just yet. Under new regulations, I must first carry out a heath and safety review on any activity that could possibly be dangerous.
C: But I’ve been to communion hundreds of times, how can it be dangerous?
I: Just because you’ve been reckless in the past is no excuse to continue being reckless. Now what do you do at this communion?
C: Well we eat bread.
I: There you go, bread can be very dangerous for people with gluten allergies. I must insist that you issue a warning about gluten at each service, and have you checked the bread for peanut content?
C: How do I know, but I do know the wine doesn’t contain peanuts, that’s home made.
I: Home made !!! Another minefield. I hope it has been produced at a property that has a Food Hygiene certificate, otherwise I will have to close you down, who knows what you could be drinking. So how is this eating and drinking organised?
C:  Well we kneel in prayer first.
I: Another dangerous exercise, anyone could injure their back keep kneeling and getting up again. You must implement procedures to demonstrate the correct way to kneel to avoid injury. And then what?
C: We are served the bread and wine by a priest.
I: I assume to do this they wear an apron and suitable headgear and they are provided with antiseptic hand wash?
C: Next you’ll want them to wear a lifejacket in case the church is shipwrecked!
I: I don’t think you are taking me seriously, but now you mention it, you should have evacuation procedures in case of fire. When was the last time you had a fire practice at communion?
C: Not since the last time we had a preacher who could set us alight!
I: And what is the purpose of this communion?
C: We remember Jesus and promise to keep his commandments.
I: And are these commandments written down.
C: In the Bible, that’s a book with over a thousand pages.
I: You agree to the terms and conditions of an executed criminal that exceed 1000 pages. This is far more dangerous than I imagined, I must advise you not to take part in this dangerous activity, be very afraid.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is about the meeting of Peter (P) and Jesus (J) after the resurrection.

P: Hello I’m Peter. I’ve really done some things in my time, but I think this one takes some beating. Denying him three times in one night, that must be a candidate for the Guinness Book of Botch-ups. I think when he called me Peter the Rock, he was talking about my brain. How can He ever forgive me?
J: Peter, do you love me?
P: (not listening)..I mean to say, I don’t think I’ve sunk so low since I tried walking on water. I’d shoot myself, but I’d probably forget about the bullets. He’ll never forgive me, I guess its down to the Job Centre, though I don’t suppose there’s a great call for failed disciples. 
J: Peter, do you love me?
P: (still not listening)….oh excuse me sir, which way to the Job Cent..er..er…er hello Lord…. what did you say?
J: Peter, do you love me?
P: But Lord, how can you ask that, after what I’ve done, I’ve been hopeless with a capital O, a nit with a capital K, I just don’t know what to say, I’m lost for words, I’m speechless, I’m..
J: Peter, shut up, put your brain in gear, think, and answer in just one word, DO YOU LOVE ME?
P: (pauses then answers seriously)… YES.
J: Thank You.
P: But I’ll quite understand if you don’t want me as a disciple, I mean you can’t have your top reps going round denying you, I’ll quite understand, but if there is anything I can do just let me know..
J: Feed my sheep.
P: Of course, anything Lord, just leave the bags of food with all the instructions, I should be able to do that, only too happy to help….WHAT SHEEP?
J: (Pointing to congregation).. Feed MY sheep.
P: You mean despite everything, despite the failures, despite me, you still call me to serve you.
J: If you love me, feed my sheep.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is based on the idea that many people do not read the bible so their only exposure to the Christian message is as Christians live out their beliefs in their lives. In this way we become living bibles. The two readers stand between two chairs that act as book-ends.

1. Excuse me
2. Granted
1. But why are we standing between two chairs.
2. They’re not chairs.
1. Er they’re not?
2. They’re book-ends
1. Of course, silly me, its was obvious really, just testing. Now seriously, why are we standing between two chairs.
2. They are book-ends – you see it’s like this.
1. Matthew, Mark Luke and John
2. Wrote some books and made a bomb.
1. That was two thousand years ago,
2. Alas the sales today are slow.
1. Everyone today prefers the tele
2. Reading bibles, not on your nellie.
1. So the only bible that they see
2. Is the Christian witness of you and
1. Me
2. And me…so..fah  (sing this)
1. So good.
2. So you see we’re all really like bibles that others read.
1. And that’s why we’re stood between bookends.
2. To emphasise the point…
1. To enhance the postulation through visual imagery…
2. That as well.
1. So you could say you’re a ‘Revelations’
2. Well its better than being a ‘Lamentations’
1. There are ‘Numbers’ of ways we are living bibles
2. Because people see our ‘Acts’
1. Like if you are ‘Titus’ anything with your money.
2. ‘Luke’ these puns are getting ‘Chronicles’.
1. Yes, be ‘Ruth’-less and ‘Exodus’ this conversation.
2. So here we are
1. Living bibles
2. So remember
1. Our lives are books
2. That others heed
1. If they look at you
2. What will they read? 

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is based on a set of awful puns on the words source/sauce. It uses them to highlight some aspects of God’s Love. Just two people are used.

1.  What’s the theme of this sketch?
2.  Good question…..what is the theme?
1.  God the source of all love!
2.  Oh yes!
1.  So you are going to talk about love.
2.  No….SAUCE  (shows sauce bottle)
1.  Silly, source in the theme is spelt S-O-U-R-C-E.
2.  Yes..(points to label) S-Oh…. They’ve spelt it wrong on the bottle.
1.  (Shakes head)
2.  They shouldn’t give themes like this to people who can’t spell. Can’t I talk about sauce then?
1.  No!
2.  You mean all these notes are no good?
1.  Sorry!
2.  What’s the closing hymn!!!! I just wanted to tell them things like not keeping your love bottled up.
1.  What else?
2.  That love should be patient,
1.  Not Cross and Black-
2.  Well, what else, it’s not like H.P.
1.  Only giving love on condition you get it back with interest.
2.  You should love unconditionally,
1.  Not just to curry favour.
2.  How about God loves everyone.
1.  You mean sauce for the goose and sauce for the gander!
2.  Then you’ve brown sauce and white sauce,
1.  But colour makes no difference to God’s love.
2.  Then I was going to say that to truly love is not always easy.
1.  You mean it can be sweet and sour.
2.  Then there’s my favourite.
1.  You mean chocolate sauce on ice-cream.
2.  Mmmm!
1.  Love is all about wanting something special for others.
2.  I think I’ve said enough about what I can’t say because I spelt the theme wrong.
1.  So remember,
2.  Don’t bottle your love up,
1.  Open it up
2.  Put something special
1.  On someone’s life.

© Graham Wilson 2020 All rights reserved.
Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

Conditions of Use

This sketch is about what might have happened to the lost sheep while it was waiting to be rescued by the good shepherd. It is really about the love of God. This sketch has two characters, the lost sheep(S) and a St Bernard dog(D). The sheep has a number 100 on its chest, the dog has a small barrel of reviving liquid round its neck (can be a cardboard replica!).  
D:  One hundred? (pointing to sign on sheep)
S:  Yes, one hundred.
D:  One hundred what?
S:  The one hundredth sheep. You know, the one that was lost when the other ninety-nine were safe in the fold.
D:  Of course! I should have guessed.
S:  Who are you?
D:  A saint….
S:  (interrupting) Gosh, sorry, I didn’t recognise you without your halo.
D:  No, not one of those saints.
S:  Oh! you don’t mean you’re one of those! (looks shocked).
D:  No, not a latter day saint, I’m a St Bernard dog, of S.B. Rescue Incorporated at your service.
S:  What does S stand for?
D:  Solitary Souls Safely Saved!
S:  B?
D:  Benevolent Bestower of Beneficial Beverages! (turns barrel round to display sign – TEA).    Are you saved?
S:  I soon will be.
D:  Are you sure. I do a nice line in sheep rescues.
S:  No thank you.
D:  How about reduced party rates for flocks over twenty.
S:  No thank you.
D:  Now if you’re in the habit of getting lost, I do a nice line in annual season tickets.
S:  (more firmly) Definitely no thank you.
D:  What makes you so sure your shepherd will come and rescue you?
S:  He is the good shepherd and knows his sheep.
D:  Knows you! What sort of name is ‘one hundred’ to be known by (pointing to sign). You’re just a number, we all are, nobody cares anymore these days.
S:  He will know I am missing when he counts his sheep.
D:  Computer error!
S:  Pardon?
D:  Computer error, that’s what you’ll be written off as. Nobody has the time for any sort of personal interest in anybody. He won’t miss you.
S:  His love is greater than the whole world.
D:  That’s another thing.
S:  What is?
D:  World! It’s the World Cup tonight on TV. There’s no way you’ll get him out tonight. Everybody looks after number one. You’re sure you don’t want saving. Tell you what, I’ll give you a cut-price introductory offer.
S:  He will come, his love doesn’t count the cost.
D:  Cost! To mount a rescue operation for one sheep is financially un-viable and pecuniary ineptitude in the current monetary situation.
S:  What does that mean?
D:  Precisely! – ‘MEAN’ – Everybody is too mean, he won’t come, its not worth the cost to rescue you.
S:  The LORD is my shepherd! (silence for a short while as they wait)
D:  Well I just don’t believe it, I can see him coming, and what’s more, he has come specifically for you. He must be a loving shepherd.
S:  I know that, but how do you know he’s come just for me?
D:  He’s calling ‘Come in number 100, you’re time is up!’.   

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Community of Christ Leeds House Church Website.

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